Robbing a Casino for Dummies

On December 14, 2010, the Bellagio got robbed.  The thief's modus operandi wasn't exactly reminiscent of Danny Ocean, however--more like Snake from The Simpsons.  He drove his motorcycle up to the front door, dashed in, and swiped $1.5m in chips at gunpoint from a craps table.  He bolted out, hopped on his bike, and drove off into the Vegas night.

Of course, if the story ended there, it wouldn't be newsworthy (or even blog-worthy).  The man had stolen both $5k chips and $25k chips known as "cranberries" for their distinct color.  (See the accompanying image.) 

While the $5k chips were easy enough to dispose of, the cranberries were too unique to simply bring them to a cage (the slang term for the cashier's window in a casino) and get them cashed.  As such, our friend the Biker Bandit went about trying to sell the cranberries at a discount.  (Note: a lot of other amusing stuff accompanied this robbery, as the police report indicates.  I recommend reading the report in full if you have some time to do so.)

Around the same time, the robbery was a bit of a hot topic on twoplustwo.com ("2p2"), a popular gambling forum.  Members wondered how easily a person could cash in a stolen chip, and one poster wondered, "over/under 20 times a day the robber views threads like these?"  Here's where the story gets good...

A poster who joined the forum in January of 2011 and went by the name "oceanspray25" and indicated his location is "Cranada" quoted this post and responded, "Under 20 but more than 3 brother. Know anyone lookin for a bargain on a few pieces of fruit? Great for the liver and kidney and they make great stocking stuffers" (emphasis added).  I know y'all have figured it out by now, but let's break it down anyways, just for hilarity's sake.

•  First off, "oceanspray25?" "Cranada?"  I guess one reference to a cranberry didn't suffice--he needed three.
• Believe it or not, people don't sell fruit on 2p2--let alone for bargains.
• I like the reference to the body's internal organs, but I would've preferred a "what, you on your period or something?" allusion a la The Departed.  Alas.

Our buddy oceanspray25 clearly was so desperate to move this hot "fruit" that he put himself in plain sight on a popular forum.  In fact, he actually messaged another member to inquire about his interest in buying the cranberries.  Unsurprisingly, he got caught shortly thereafter.

The Biker Bandit clearly isn't playing with a full deck, but you've gotta admire his willingness to lay his chips on the table (so to speak).